Halfway House

I feel like I'm running a halfway house for second-hand appliances.

I've already introduced you to Gimpy, our three-legged refrigerator. True to his name, Gimpy only has three legs. We have also since discovered that poor Gimpy can't even do the one thing in the world he was meant to do--refrigerate. But don't worry, his freezing technique is perfect.

And then there's Walter, the obese washer. Poor Walter has led a hard life--he's too big for any space he tries to take up, but despite his size, he just lacks the gumption to really sink his teeth into a load of laundry and get them sparkling clean. And (if you ever tell him this I'll kill you), he's a little smelly too.

Tara the TV, as compared to Walter, is the runt of the litter. She's tiny, her screen barely taking up a full 25 inches. And, bless her heart, she doesn't even get any channels. We tell her it's our fault because we don't have an antenna, but really we're not so sure.

Dave the DVD player may or may not work... he's been pretty blase since settling into his new home, and hasn't had much occassion to interact with us. Maybe Dave and Tara will hit it off and work some magic on their own. I can already see the... uh... sparks flying.

The only one who seems to be doing his job rather well is Mike the microwave... well, except for his loud growling and altogether surly attitude.

I guess we can't complain. What do you expect when you purchase your appliances from a second-hand shop where the rejects tend to congregate? Who knows, maybe a little tlc and some elbow-grease will turn these babies around. But for now, I feel like I've done a good deed, fostering a band of underloved appliances and delaying their certain junk yard fate for a couple more years.

So here we are: proud Mama and Papa of Gimpy, Walter, Tara, Dave, and Mike--all together a more than halfway happy little family.