Protagonists

Those of you who know me know that lately I have been obsessed with becoming a novelist.

I know, I know: only something like one percent of written novels are actually published; writing a novel is a huge endeavor and, frankly, Kim, your track record (the multiple unfinished arts-and-crafts projects, the five almost-blank-except-for-the-first-entry journals, and the several unfinished short stories all stuffed in the dark recesses of your closet) prove that huge endeavors are not your thing; not to mention you can’t come up with a fully functioning idea for a novel to save your life.

All good points. But I’m going to pretend anyway. And this blog will be kind of a test.

What’s great about a blog is that the protagonists are already decided for you. I don’t have to go through any lengthy character sketches, emotional research on how a real character would react, or build an imaginary character biography in order to bring the protagonists to life. Will and I are it. And if you didn’t like the protagonists, you wouldn’t be reading this blog.

So here they are: the cast of characters you will come to know and love for as long as this blog is in existence (and if it’s anything like the five almost-blank-except-for-the-first-entry journals, that won’t be very long. Let’s hope the blog suffers a better fate).

Will

The dashingly handsome hero, hell-bent on upholding justice, defeating evil, laughing in the face of danger, and rescuing his damsel in distress from emotional meltdowns, overwhelming to-do lists, and difficult math problems. Born in the rolling foothills of Tennessee, Will is a civil engineer by day and rogue secret agent by night. His interests include football, surfing, beer, illustrating Darcy Down Under, long walks on the beach, and Kim.

Kim

(the narrator of this fair tale)

The breathtakingly beautiful heroine, intent on making the world a better place through closely-guarded friendships, harebrained ideas like moving to Australia (which she has long harbored but never thought would actually happen), and the occasional throwing of a brilliant party. Born in Mississippi (which she tells very few people) but raised in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Kim is not a stranger to international adventures. Her interests include international travel, beaches, going out to eat at great restaurants, chocolate, wine, running, writing, reading fantastic suck-you-in type books, long walks on the beach, and Will.

Darcy

The impossibly cute, extremely furry, entirely mischievous puppy dog who looks like a polar bear. Born in Atlanta, GA, Darcy is the one thing that Will and Kim believe they have done 100% right since their marriage in September 2008. With a knack for getting into trouble, Darcy’s primary role in this tale will most likely be that of comic relief. Her interests include begging for your food (especially ham), rawhide bones, ice, and large stuffed animals.

Now that we have been introduced to the characters, any good novelist knows that their story must start off with at least a few vignettes of the hero at home. You know, the part where everything is peachy keen and you think how great the hero has it and how it sure would be lovely if things could stay like this forever. Except they never do. The call to action comes and throws the hero’s life into a pitch of confusion, conflict, and chaos.

Subsequent posts, up until February 2, will provide insight into the “heroes at home” (though a true “hero at home” depiction would have occurred before actually making the decision to start the journey; what is actually being represented now is “preparation for the heroic journey,” and will therefore contain its own share of confusion, conflict, and chaos).

Most of you are probably anxiously awaiting the real action that will begin when we actually get to Australia, but all in good time, my friends. Good things come to those who wait.