The Mighty Cockatoos

It's always interesting when one has the pleasure of running across cultural idiosyncrasies that serve as a reminder that one does, in fact, live in Australia.

For one, the fitted sheet. The Australian fitted sheet is a homeware conundrum I have puzzled since arriving in this fair country. One can imagine that after being used to buying a bundle of high quality linen--including a fitted sheet, top sheet, and two pillowcases--for the average price of $50 it would be quite a shock to find that a sole fitted sheet in Australia costs on average $100. That's right, it is one piece of fabric laced with a scrunchie. Of course, cigarettes are also $17/pack. Although I'm not quite sure why the government is trying to regulate the usage of fitted sheets.

Secondly, upon perusing the dark recesses of IMDB's vaults, we realized that our computer's loyalty lies with Australia as opposed to its homeland when we stumbled across a beloved childhood film involving a hotshot lawyer and a ragtag gang of children playing ice hockey. The name? "Champions." Now while I certainly understand the necessity for literal title translations in an effort to cross language barriers (for example, I have no problem with "Undercover Blues" becoming "Two Spies and a Baby" in Brazil), one would assume that "The Mighty Ducks," which in the early 1990s had absolutely no meaning in America, would have enough resonance to traverse the cultural barrier into Australian film vernacular. Of course, that is until one realizes that there are no ducks in this country.

[Disclaimer: There are most likely ducks. However they are not quite so abundant as in North America, and do not have the same cultural significance. Aka, they have never been on a stamp. And they are probably not featured heavily in taxidermy. And there is no duck hunting season.

OK, there may be duck hunting season.]

Australian Duck

Our own experience with ducks in Australia extends only so far as this one time when Will and I were spending the weekend in the country, only to be awoken at 7am by a cacophony of squawks, which to our ears could have only been ducks. "But they must have flown south for the winter!" our sleep-ridden-selves exclaimed. Until we remembered that a) we are in the southern hemisphere so they would be flying north, and b) upon closer examination of this aviary discord it was actually not ducks at all, but a mighty gaggle of cockatoos. Loudest little buggers ever.

Gaggle of Cockatoos

Which leads us to believe that a more appropriate, culturally sensitive title would, in fact, be "The Mighty Cockatoos." How do you like that, Emilio Estevez?